BADFIC
Becoming a Monster: Greyback is just angry cause his brother died.
The one source of light in Fenrir’s life was his younger brother. Claude was a beautiful young boy who had nothing but smiles and love to give the world. Fenrir took it upon himself to protect Claude. He would save Claude when his father started to beat him and he would give up his own food so that Claude never went hungry. His love for Claude even carried through to his werewolf self. His love for Claude kept him deep in the woods. His love for Claude led him to his first murder.
***
A Hard Bargain: Gillyweed for sex. Yay.
Only four days until he could have the boy, any way he wanted. Snape reached down to readjust himself.
Snape sighed. "Hold yourself straight, feet a foot apart and hands to your sides."
Finally, Snape had a clear, unobstructed view of Potter. The boy was completely soft, though his nipples were peaked a bit, from the cool air rather than any excitement.
His balls hung low and there was a smattering of dark hairs on his crotch. His cock definitely hadn't reached adult size yet, though. A blush spread from Potter's navel to his forehead, to Snape's delight.
"Lovely. Stroke yourself to hardness."
"What did I tell you, Harry?"
The use of his first name startled Potter, making him grow more suspicious, if possible.
"To stroke myself."
"To stroke myself, sir." Snape ignored Potter's muttered "Sick bastard" and added, "It's not all I told you."
"To stroke myself to hardness. Sir."
"Quite."
***
Faithful: Bellatrix/Voldemort. Voldemort is okay with killing, but has some reservations when it comes to adultery. Some insight into how he formulates his ridiculous plans. lol
NO! No he couldn’t love her! She was a minion, and a married one at that! What would Rodolphus say?! What was he going to do?
Alright, alright, think. How could he get Bella out of Azkaban? First, what about the Dementors. Oh, it was hopeless! Wait, wait, he had it. Send them after Harry Potter! Yes, yes and he can release Bella and the others! Now, the Dementors...
***
Homework Blues: Harry has trouble with the vibrator. lol
Harry reflected that it probably was Hermione's fault. She had been the one to pressure him to be systematic about homework. That was how he had decided to do some bottoming homework and bought this fucking huge blue dildo. Back in school he never would have guessed he'd be doing this sort of extra homework for Snape.
Oh man, if Sirius were alive, Harry would be in big trouble. "What do you mean you're going to bugger yourself with an object to prepare yourself to bottom for Snape? What's 'bottom,' does that mean what I think it does?"
Well, perhaps Sirius had known what "to bottom" meant, even though it seemed terribly American. Sirius had seemed cosmopolitan. Of course any adult does, when you are fifteen.
He knelt over the book with his arse in the air, and rubbed the head of the dong around on his crack.
"You'll need more lube than that, big boy," the book said out loud.
He snorted. The book showed him a handsome man putting a big squirt of lube on the dong. All right.
"Stroke it, that's right honey, stroke it like it's your boyfriend."
The book was a bit annoying.
It was a sexy thought though, that he could be stroking Severus this way. Severus had a wonderfully large cock and very big, hairy balls. Harry really liked to suck him.
"Harry," Severus said in a deep and silky purr. "Would you like me to fuck you?"
Unable to speak, he nodded. Severus sat next to him on the bed and started to undo the buttons on Harry's shirt.
"What are you—why are you taking off my shirt?"
"Because we are going to make love, and I want to feel your whole body under mine."
***
Arielle Potter: Harry is a girl.
Dumbledore returned the greeting and turned his attention on the baby in Lily’s arms. Sighing sadly he said, “I came here today because I suspect that Arielle is one of the two babies that a prophecy that was made earlier this year is speaking off.”
There, he said it. Blunt as an axe. The two elder Potters blinked and stared at Dumbledore. “Wha?” said James.
As soon as they returned home she was grabbed by her hair and stuffed in her cupboard. Gently putting her hand on her throbbing skull, Arielle sat on her little cot. She was trembling in fear. She never liked being punished. Sometimes she would be beaten; sometimes her Uncle made her do chores for months and if she didn't finish them in time, guess what happened... she was beaten again. Sighing softly she mentally prepared herself for her 'torture session' as she called it. After a few hours, her Uncle came to the cupboard and started the punishment. After he was finished, Arielle was barely conscious.
***
Staring at the Sun: Oh boy.
Fenrir entered the baby’s nursery, clad in only his boxers. He yawned as he motioned for Harry to give him their daughter. Harry did and the alpha bounced in his steps to soothe Rhea, shushing her.
“Hey, honey. Are you being bad for your mummy?”
Harry scowled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “I told you to stop calling me that, Fenrir.”
***
Ink Stains: Hermione/Kingsley.
“I’ve been dreaming about you, girl, since the day we rescued Potter. This perfect little arse pressed against me, wiggling on that Thestral…do you remember, Granger, how I held onto you tightly, had my hands pressing against your ribs?”
“What do you think Potter would say if he could see you now? Spread out like a meal for me…my ink on your skin…Auror paperwork stuck to your face, moaning for me like a dirty little witch.”
***
The Other Boogie Man: LOL. A Greyback poem that mentions "the children" in every other line or something. I'm posting the whole thing here.
Fenrir loved the little children.
Soft and small
And how’d they greet him
with wide, wide eyes.
The voices would be lost,
Then come back wailing all at once.
Fenrir loved the little children,
no matter the size.
The only face that truly counted
would have to be their age.
He’d take them by their throats,
their flailing arms and legs
and he’d take them
oh so faraway.
He’d give himself to them
and take everything away.
Nothing’s quite as pure and sweet
as a child.
Innocent, tempting all around.
Fenrir broke the little children,
ripped them piece by piece.
The ones who lived were the unluckiest,
survivors normally are.
Scars inside and out,
tossed aside by society,
their parents, mum and dad,
and so they’d return to Fenrir Greyback.
Fenrir loved the ones that returned.
Fenrir sought the ones that didn’t.
***
Worlds Collide: Harry is a girl, she's abused, other stuff happens but I was laughing too hard to go that far into the story.
To make her further a freak, she bore a lightning bolt-shaped scar on her forehead.
“You’re a stupid, worthless insolent little brat. How DARE you ruin Dudley’s birthday. Jealous are you that he’s loved when you’re such a little freak that no one ever could love you? You’re good for nothing and you’re lucky that our goodness extends to allowing you stay under this roof, he spat. His face was so close to hers that she could smell the marmalade that he had just piled on top of the toast she had cooked for him. Once he had finished shouting at her, her flung her body to the floor, kicking her repeatedly in the sides, before picking her up, opening the cupboard door, punching her, and throwing her back inside.
Cautiously Harry crept to the door, opening it with her eyes looking at the floor. When the large mass of her Uncle did not push past her, she dared to raise her eyes. Before her stood a young couple, only 22 in age. The man sported fashionable stubble with a hairstyle to match, dressed in a casual white shirt with plain denim jeans. He wore designer glasses that made his intellect look higher than it probably was, and they also highlighted the black specs in his eyes. The woman, supposedly his wife, was wearing a pink summer dress over black trousers. Her chocolate brown hair was up in Japanese hair sticks, and plain silver hoops complimented the silver studs that were fixed through her earlobes. A simple-cross hung on a chain round her neck, drawing focus to the warm smile that radiated from her face. Harry guessed that the woman was slim for her age, but it was natural, and her figure complemented that of her other half’s.
The man extended a welcoming hand. “Hi, I’m Dave and this is my wife Sarah.” Harry timidly accepted the handshake, smiling nervously at the strangers.
“Hi, um, I’m Harry”
***
Horripilation: Another one where Harry is a girl.
“The fact still remains that your husband sexually abused an eight-year-old girl,” McGonagall interrupted, and the room seemed to saturate with her fury. “Whether or not he was found guilty is irrelevant!”
“The little bitch probably asked for it—” Petunia snapped before Dumbledore suddenly moved in front of her, and the following slap resounded off the walls and throughout a shocked silence.
***
A Father's Pride: Voldie wants a family, so he takes Harry after killing her parents and raises her. He also happens to own a book about Harry's family history, and talks to himself a lot, referring to himself as Tom. Because he loves that name.
“Avada Kedevra!” he roared.The child was surrounded by green light. Voldemort started when the energy of the curse gathered up and rebounded back to him. He was just able to duck before getting hit.
Voldemort, or Tom as only his closest followers knew him, sighed and took his cape off. Under it he wore a black robes that billowed around him nicely. He started to pull off his robes to change into nightclothes (Dark Lords are human also!) when a pop announced that Stelly [his house elf] had returned.
“A girl, huh?” he whispered. “Tom, what is wrong with you? Go read for once!” He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a book. The Potter Line, it was called. He flipped through it until he found what he was looking for. “Okay, Lily and James Potter gave birth to a baby girl on July 31st. The girl was christened Riana Amerie Potter.” He shut the book and sighed yet again. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.
“Okay, Riana Amerie Potter,” he whispered. “This will be strange Tom. Can you handle a baby girl? This has to be the ultimate strength challenge.” Then he fell asleep in his large comfy bed.
***
Unimaginable: One of the best badfics of all time. Hermione is really Blaise's long-lost sister, and she doesn't mind being a Death Eater if her real parents support Voldemort.
“What do you mean I’m adopted?!” Hermione Granger—Age sixteen—squeaked in shock. “W-why are you just now telling me?”
“We’re tired of placating your fantasy that you’re our daughter!” Her father –Peter Granger—Said in disgust as he stared at the becoming teenager before him.
“We just don’t want you anymore.” Hermione’s mother –Jane Granger—said disdainfully.
“Fuck,” Hermione groaned her face becoming the color of a bright red tomato.
“You have to understand Hermione,” Her father, now of four months, said onerously. “We fight with the Voldemort, for the dark side.”
“But I-,” She was cut off by Blaize.
“I know it means your going against your beliefs,” He said. “But this is our family. This is what we are. You need to accept the dark mark.”
After eons of silence she finally whispered. “Will it hurt?” [Because the first thing she worries about is not her moral convictions or her loyalty to the Order and Harry, but about if the mark will hurt. Oh yeah, she's totally not OOC]
They were fraternal twins, her father had told them. They’d been Separated at birth by a mistake at St. Mungos hospital, Hermione sent to the adoption agency and Blaize given to their parents. Her father and mother—before she’d died of cancer—had been looking for her all these years. [Because two children can be fraternal twins even if one turns out black and the other white. And St. Mungo's has a hard time recording who they give babies out to. And they aren't able to treat cancer either]
“It’s over baby,” Her father whispered kissing her brow.
“It hurts,” Hermione whimpered in angst.
“Thanks Voldy!” Hermione said laughing…and then she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. She felt the air go still, heard the Death Eaters suck in their breaths. “I’m sorry I was mean in the beginning.” She whispered.
“I’m sorry I frightened you.”
“Voldy!” Hermione yelled and launched herself at him. She swamped in his large frame, she’d become slim in the past months.
“Hello Hermione,” He said softly, kissing her cheek. He was like a brother to her, and he was somewhat like her best friend, even though he looked slightly snake like. Hermione had helped him to grow his hair back, and had also found a potion that helped to restore his skin and limbs to the right size, color, and texture. “You’re looking lovely today.”
It was a lie, she knew it. She looked beastly because she’d woken up with bed hair, and instead of heading to the shower, she’d just pulled on a pair of black skinny and a v’ neck t-shirt.
She smiled anyway though, and pulled away. “You look sexy yourself,” She said smiling at him, and it was true. His hair was rakish, with a hint of red, and he wore a pair of crisp black slacks, and a dark blue dress shirt.
“You must be Hermione Zambini, Potter’s ex-friend. You also must be the child that has captured the Dark Lord’s heart.”
“He’s my BFFL,” She said laughing.
“What’s that mean?” Fenir asked.
“Best friend for life,” Voldemort answered smiling widely and gleefully.
“Daddy…” She whimpered when Fenir’s mouth latched on to her throat.
“Hermione!” Her father cried, only to be detained by Voldemort’s out stretched arm.
“Stop,” She heard him say. “When a werewolf finds his mate you shouldn’t get between them.
“You smell wonderful…” Fenir groaned, his nose sniffing her throat.
“D-Dad,” Hermione whimpered, just as Fenir’s teeth ripped into her throat. “Ahh!” She screamed in pain. “Stop it!” Fenir growled in apology, but began to drain her blood.
A warm sensation was coming over her, and the area between her legs was frightfully warm and wet.
“I think it’s time to leave the room gentlemen,” Voldemort said and she heard murmurs of agreement.
Voldy watched from the side lines as Fenir and Hermione argued. She was perfect for his friend, and this was just another step forward in his master plan.
“Ahh…Harry,” He whispered, knowing Potter would feel him. “I’m coming for you…and your little dogs too.”
***

(Anonymous)
I was just kind of browsing through some comms, when I stumbled over this. I thought, "oh, someone mocking the countless bad!fic in the fandom, that could be fun", and it... okay, see here, these samples were SO BAD, I actually thought you'd written them yourself with the intention of mocking all the craptastic bad fic cliches.
Then I realized, no, this is actually REAL fanfiction. And I died, a little. God. -_- Fandom can be a scary thing...